Monday, November 27, 2006
Bed me now, with your punisher's guns, and I'll serve up some lovely carrot cake after...
I just don't have much to say.

I could do a meme.


I could post another in the continuing series of Sydney by cameraphone.


I know!

I'll give you a hilarious account of recent hits on my blog via crude and bizarre search engine terms caught by my sitemeter!

Cos, like, I bet no one's ever thought of that to fill blog space before...*

You will not be surprised to know that The Ladies Lounge gets somewhat more than its fair share of

"ladies in lounge wear"

"ladies loving ladies"


"ladies with pretty piss"

(the latter, I attribute to my Australian tendency to use the phrase "piss" as a synonym for both angst and humour, viz, 'take the piss' 'pissed off' 'pissing themselves laughing' or 'strong enough to hold a bull out to piss'. Actually, I've never used this last one here but this was a good excuse.)

So there are no surprises there.

The one that continues to surprise me is "punisher's guns" and about 10 variations thereof.

In case you are dazed and bewildered, you should first see my version of The Punisher's Guns (we are currently number 1 of 1,030,000 hits on Google) and then have a squizz at what they might really be looking for... here...

Mind you, judging by hits via email groups and message boards, the Punisher's link here seems to have travelled quite widely among you and your friends and workmates out there.

I'll pause a moment here to bask in the glow of entertaining the world with a smutty toy at the expense of my four year old son and his 76 year old great-aunt.

And to give you yet another view of the Punisher's remarkable gun.

Right. Back to it.

The second most common search engine hit here is so wholesome and virtuous I can still barely credit it myself.

Who knew that the world was crying out for a cake recipe that had "pineapple AND coconut AND walnut AND carrot"?

That recipe comes up number one on Google for all sorts of combinations and barely a day goes by without someone, somewhere checking it out.

Moment: more basking.

Sorry, I get more than the usual pleasure out of that one because I am not normally a baker of any kind and I only made that cake when I had no other ingredients in the cupboard, and there was nothing else I could do with a trio of sick children - other than infanticide, of course.

Then, of course, we have the more usual kinds of hits. Sometimes random, sometimes sparked by a perhaps ill-considered headline like "Kinky Monkey Pirate Sex" - what was I thinking?

"Sex life in Australia"

"Ladies doing the golden moment" (which took the searcher to the cake recipe - serves him right)

"Virtual sex lounge"

And naturally after every Root Shoot Marry we get a run on recent celebrities.

"Flabby Arnold boobs"

"Leave a beautiful corpse"

"David Gahan's old girlfriend"

"Fabio goose in face"

"Ozzy toilet photo" (I'm a little shocked to be number one on Google for this one, but also pleased that there are only 148,000 other sites that respond to this term...)

and I'm chuffed about this one:

"bed me NOW"

because it's been one of my favourite sayings for many years now. WITH my husband, I hasten to add. Sheesh.

So, there you have it.

How very original of me*.



*I am allowed to be sarcastic about this because way back in the early days of Glamorouse I came up with this genius idea and wrote about how we were getting horny bankers from Saudi Arabia looking for things like 'glamorous mothers breasts' ... It was only later I realised this was the bloggerly equivalent of 'inventing' the martini.


Blogger Stomper Girl said...

I've had "How you know if an egg is rotten" which I swear I've never discussed. And Jon Pertwee, whom I have!

Your combox on the last RSM is hilarious. What do the hip young things say: ROFLMAO??

I know, see what you started with that comment about not watching westerns, Stomper?

Blogger nutmeg said...

Ok. You've given me my giggle for the afternoon. And I definitely needed my memory jogged and other bits jiggled by that picture of The Punisher. Do any of the comments come up in google searches I wonder? After this comment you could be found by "afternoon punisher jiggled by giggle bits".

Blogger Em said...

Your searches are so much more interesting than mine (which probably means your blog is more interesting than mine!) I can only come up with "kissing with palette expander" :)

Blogger Em said...

PS can I ask what does mtc stand for - I've been wondering...

Anonymous shula said...

mtc = more to come. occasionally I link it to the explanation for the phrase. I'll dig it up.

ROFLMAO - rolling on the floor laughing my arse off. Geez Shula - they'd never let you even sign up for a MySpace account without knowing that!

Blogger My float said...

Oh that Punisher. I've only just managed to delete him from my conscious memory and you HAD to re-awake him, didn't you!

But that carrot that was delicious!

Blogger Emma said...

Gosh, this makes my 'fairy toadstool cake', although a great source of fresh readers, seem so very tame and a little uptight!


Blogger Carolyn said...

That was a great post.

I enjoyed it, especially the Punisher.

Anonymous shula said...
Blogger Surfing Free said...

Wow! I've actually never looked at the stats about searches ... how very remiss of me. I shall rectify it immediately!!
But I bet mine would not be half as amusing as yours :)

Blogger h&b said...

I can't believe the punisher is sold in the children's section.

He's so un-PC ... but good for numerous reprisal encores !! ;)

I have been rather remiss in the latest RSM's. I've been late to the party, and 178 commenters having been through already only leaves me very sloppy seconds.

So I hit the bar instead.

Blogger h&b said...

oh .. and we really do need to talk about the Rotary Exchange...

Were you in my year ?
Did we meet at the final Canberra crackdown ??

Enquiring minds need to know..

Anonymous shula said...

I'm going to marry that Punisher some day. How come we never get him on RSM?

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Your wish is my command, Lady Shula.

But maybe not this week.

I'm thinking The Punisher and his super hero friends are too darn easy for this week...

Blogger Joke said...

For some reason, I show up rather prominently for "Have her scrubbed and sent to my tent."


I imagine that using words like 'seraglio' in your headers could attract that sort of romantic searcher, Joke.

Blogger creative-type dad said...

That Punisher is pretty freakin' funny!
That look on his face...

Anonymous CrankMama said...

Bed me now?
How many husbands would LOVE to have their wives say that to them (esp hubs of moms of twins)

You're cute.

Blogger Joke said...

Yes, above all else, I attract only the very best the Imbecile community has to offer.


Anonymous shula said...

Yes, crankmama (excellent name, by the way). I've tucked 'bed me now' away for future use as well.

from Shula, the Eternal Optimist.

I can't claim all the credit.

It's a quote from (of all things) the movie Top Gun. Goose's wife bounces up to him when she visits the base and says something like: "Bed me now or lose me forever"...

Funnily enough, The Prof responds to both versions.

Blogger Stomper Girl said...

Goose's wife. The only good thing in that movie.

Blogger h&b said...

I hate "Top Gun" too. bletch !!

But the quote is good.
Just don't ever mention its origins again ....

Blogger Joke said...


Of course he does. That's why he is a Prof.

I mean, duh!


Now that you put it that way...

Anonymous Mens Suits said...

I like the ladies with many dalmatians.

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