Saturday, January 06, 2007
Root Shoot Marry #18 - Childhood Traditions
If there were any advantages in growing up in this town:

it was that the limited resources, opportunities and aspirations of its occupants meant that some traditions were maintained for longer than in other, bigger communities.

I've tried to write that as positively as I can.

Those of you who have been reading since Glamorouse days might remember that my real feelings are more along these lines...[yes, you should click here now].

Ah, yes, the memories!

But back to my real point: traditions.

Every year, about two weeks before Easter, Mum would go to the [one] town bakery and order our Hot Cross Buns. You placed orders by dozen or half-dozen, to be collected no sooner than the Wednesday before Good Friday.

The buns looked like this:

and no one dreamed of asking for them without peel, or
with chocolate.

They arrived wrapped in white paper and string, placed in our huge mailbox with our normal order of bread - also wrapped in white paper and string - by the same person who delivered the mail (and would collect your mail, too, and drop off prescriptions from the chemist if you were stuck home sick for some reason).

I think it's funny that now the tradition seems to be to spot the first sale of hot cross buns after Christmas. Suse picked it quickly in Melbourne and we've had several grumpy letters to the editor about it in Sydney but - you know what? Every supermarket I use sells hot cross buns year round, so in some places there's no 'season' at all, any more.

I can't get too excited about the fact that the buns are out there, way too early or way too late for Easter, depending on your point of view. But I do think it is worth remembering that you value things more when you have to wait for them.

This, coming from the Queen of Instant Gratification, just made my husband snort coffee out of his nose.

Ok, so maybe there are a lot of holes in my traditions story here, but it did give me a neat segue into a Root Shoot Marry for this week.

RSM #18 - Childhood Traditions. and who represents our favourite traditions?

  1. Santa Claus
  2. Easter Bunny
  3. Tooth Fairy

But, of course, I can't bring you the REAL Santa and the REAL Easter Bunny and the REAL Tooth Fairy because they're invisible!

Also, as you know, if we did happen to see the Real Santa and his mates, they would stop bringing us presents, or kill us, depending on your own personal family tradition...

So rest easy, and scroll down to see the Essence of Santa, Bunny and Fairy I have brought you this week.

The traditional boys:

Santa (Bad Santa - Billy Bob Thornton)

Easter Bunny (Bunny Slippers - Click here for the wearer if the image isn't instantly recognisable)

Tooth Fairy (Oberon - Rupert Everett)

And the girls?

Mrs Claus (Long Kiss Goodnight - Geena Davis)

Easter Bunny (Bridget Jones - I know we've had Renee before but who could resist throwing those boobs ears into the mix?)

The Tooth Fairy (Titania, of course - Michelle Pfeiffer)

So away we go for the first RSM of 2007, with a ho, ho, ho, a hoppity hop, and a nice shiny coin under your pillow.



Blogger meggie said...

I would have to
Root Tooth Fairy- if possible...he looks too 'pretty'?

Shoot Billy Bob er Santa- even though I would miss his acting talents.

Marry Easter Bunny- not sure why, he doesnt really seem the marrying type!

I believe Bruce has said he wants to emulate Mickey Rourke and get married seven times: so he probably is the marrying kind... just not a keeper!

Blogger Jane Henry said...


Shoot Billy Bob. He is way too annoying to live

Root Bruce (no brainer)

Marry Rupert and hope to turn him...

Love Janex

Blogger Jane Henry said...

PS ...if you think your home town was bad, spare a thought for my other half's poor German cousin, who grew up in an insane spa town in Germany (like something out of that film Wellville) - her mother was the vicar's wife so she got told off if she so much as stepped on a lawn, and her mother had to have all their clothes handmade otherwise the sisterhood of bitchery would have run them all out of town...

I don't think it's the worst place in the world: the scenery is really very lovely. It's all the people with two left thumbs and one set of grandparents who really trouble me... And, even more so, it's the tree-changers/down-shifters who go there and proselytise to the world about how great it is (until they realise their kids have still found a heroin supplier despite being 700 kilometres from the nearest capital city.)

You see why I don't talk about it much? The bitter bile: it flows.

Blogger Stomper Girl said...

Before I play, have to say I just got thoroughly riled up about those foul burglars. Unforgivable. Were they ever caught and brought to justice?


R: Bruce the Easter Bunny. Does he come with his own chocolate supply? *licks lips*

S: Billy Bob Claus. Because Santa should never be bad. And you know, he's kinda freaky too. And allegedly dumps women for choosing motherhood.

M: Rupert the Fairy. Hey, I know the sex might not be exactly a happenin' thang but he would be great fun to gossip and go shopping with. And I like the idea of waking up with gold under the pillow of a morning.

Blogger BabelBabe said...

root the Tooth Fairy - god he's hot. is he really gay?

shoot Bad Santa, the freak.

marry the Easter Bunny. i can think of worse things than waking up next to that smile in the morning. and he'd understand my chocolate addiction.

Blogger Joke said...

R - Mrs. Claus. Because Geena Davis is ridiculously tall and I'm curious to see what it'd be like to have to make two trips.

S - Easter Bunny. I've had enough of Renee/Bridget; as in my-cup-runneth-over and I have to mop the place.

M - Tooth Fairy. Any explanation would be moot.


Blogger Blue Moon Girl said...

For Me -
Shoot - Billy Bob because he makes me want to vomit both as a person and as Bad Santa.
Root - Rupert. So damn cute. It really is too bad that he's, well, the "fairy."
Marry - Bruce Bunny. Don't know why. Just because.

Mr. B says -
Root - Tooth Fairy, Michelle Pfeiffer.
Shoot - Bridget Bunny. Because her accent is jacked in that movie and she's annoying as hell in general.
Marry - Mrs. Claus, Geena Davis. Because she is damn hot!

Blogger h&b said...

Root Bruce. MmMmm

Shoot Billy Bob.
( Didn't he pee his pants in that movie ? )

Marry Rupert. Hey, it's not like i'd be the first to marry a guy that doesn't party in Girltown....

Blogger Lazy cow said...

Root: well, attempt to, Rupert.
Shoot: Billy Bog, I mean Bob. Urghh.
Marry: I love me some Bruce. (Must get Moonlighting on DVD...)
Happy new year to you!

Anonymous shula said...

I'm on the girls this week.

Root: Geena. I have this thing for tall women.

Shoot: Renee in that stupid bunny outfit - over and over again. Positively riddle the bunny with bullets. I hated Bridget Jones' Diary. It made me crazy.

Marry Michelle, so I could spend the rest of my life marvelling at her beauty.

The story about the burgulary and your mother's ashes left me in a fit of horrified hysterics. The worst part is, I could relate to it. One of those stories that are so bizarre you can't expect people to even fucking BELIEVE you. Is this a small town thing, or is it just us?

Blogger Badger said...

Okay, well I am not ignoring you, it's just that I can't bring myself to do this one. Shooting Billy Bob seems like the right thing to do, but ... SLING BLADE, y'all! I loved that movie, and he was amazing in it. So I'd kind of like to root him -- just ONCE! -- for curiosity's sake.

I could shoot Bruce but I have a teeny little crush on him.

And I could never shoot Rupert.

Maybe I could shoot Billy Bob in the LEG? Root Bruce, marry Rupert? Because if I was married to Rupert, he probably wouldn't care if I was rooting Bruce the whole time?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another difficult choice:
Root: Bruce
Shoot: BillyBob
Marry: Rupert

Altho I might just wing BillyBob and actually if I continue to Just Marry for Money in these RSM's, I should marry Bruce as his - er- wallet is soitenly larger than Rupert's.

Blogger ewe are here said...

First off, must shoot Billy Bob.

Then root Bruce.

Then marry Rupert and hope I can turn him. ;-)

Blogger MsCellania said...

I forgot this was the dudes in character!
Root: The Easter Bunny - as well, you know; bunnies and rootin' are a natural.
Shoot: The Tooth Fairy - that fucker never paid me the going rate for my teeth!
Marry: Santa Claus - as who wouldn't love a fellow who was always jolly, making toys and gone only one night a year?!

Blogger Carolyn said...

I kind of agree with mscellania.

The bunny is a natural for rooting. Definitely wouldn't want to marry someone who liked to root THAT MUCH though.

Shoot the tooth fairy. He has forgotten to leave my kids money more than once. Then I have to sneak in their room and say, "Here the money is. You must have missed it."

Marry Santa Claus. He would never be in a bad mood, right?

That would be heaven.

Blogger Nic said...

Tricky, tricky....

Actor wise:

Root: Billy Bob - everyone's gotta do a bad boy once, haven't they?

Shoot: Bruce - sorry, but there has to be a price to pay for The Lasy Boy Scout...

Marry: Rupert - it's been said before, but I reckon he would be great fun to spend the rest of my life with - I've missed out on debauched parties and he might let me tag along!

But as for characters:


Root: Santa - but it would need to be on Christmas Eve, after all, he only comes once a year (sorry!)

Shoot: Tooth Fairy - the idea of using redundant molars for furniture freaks me out.

Marry: Easter Bunny. Chocolate....

Blogger Hannelie said...

Hello Bec, Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting. I'll be back to read more.

Blogger Muzbot said...

R: The Jones chick and Bruce. They are both experienced with the one nighter.

S: Michelle and Billy Bob. No explanation other than, they both don't impress me much.

M: Gina (I think she's so hot!) and Rupert (no turning effort required): Either one of these two would be very easy to live with and very easy on the eyes too...

And yes, this year I'm continuing to hedge my bets with the sexes. :)

Blogger nutmeg said...

I'm so late and I don't know whom I'm supposed to root the man or the character - I need to get me some more sleep (so rooting should be out hey?)

Anyway, I laughed so loud I snorted at your comment about the down sizers and shape shifters (was that it?) in our lovely "green triangle". I distinctly remember my mum saying to one of her cronies that by going up there "...we are effectively taking nutmeg away from the drug problem down here..." I never saw a "drug" until I was asked to pass the bong on the first party I attended up there!

Blogger shellyC said... it the actors or the characters?? I am choosing the actors. Why? The tooth fairy forgets to come in our house, santa only comes once a year and the Easter Bunny buys cheap crappy chocolate!!

Shoot - Billy Bob. He's just a bit too weird for me!

Root - Brucey Boy because I have dreamed about it before!

Marry - Rupert - because he is so gorgeous and probably lots of fun!!

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