Saturday, September 16, 2006
Root Shoot Marry #6 Bad boys/bad girls
Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do? Watcha gonna do when they come for you? Oops, they already did, didn't they Hugh, Robert and James? This is the post I couldn't quite get together two weeks ago after the four galloping schooners* with Tony, who is now safely (one hopes) ensconced with Mrs P in one of their hideaways in South Africa or Zimbabwe and no doubt swatting away elephants and cheetahs while he checks his webmail, waiting for me to email him the RSM choices so he can vote by proxy.

At least, that’s how I picture them right now.The result of the four galloping schooners* session was the brilliant suggestion to build an RSM theme around arrested celebrities.

Does this phrase not instantly conjure up images of Nick Nolte , OJ Simpson, and, more recently, Mel Gibson ? Good - because they're your blokes for this week and I wish you well in your choices. Odd to think that prior to what OJ did before his arrest and Mel did after his arrest, these choices might have been tricky for an altogether more positive reason.

Have you noticed something that all the names I've mentioned so far have in common? That's right, THEY'RE ALL MEN! And here we come to the fatal flaw in the arrested celebrity plan.

I hit the internet and googled around for celeb mugshots and struck gold with the boys - but could I balance the books with similarly busted femmes? No sirree. In fact, it seems that any really famous women who do get arrested are also smart enough to make sure their mugshots don't end up floating around the internet!

Of course, the cupboard was not completely bare. The cast of Lost provided this delightful double whammy on The Smoking Gun - an excellent website that I highly recommend - with these police pics of Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthis Watros but they seem a bit B list to me ... there's also no shortage of Baywatch women on the Smoking Gun mugshot list - why is it so?
But if we skip the technical requirement for a mugshot, I can come up with three women to suit this week's game.

First, the delightfully scandal-hungry Paris Hilton managed to get herself arrested for DUI.

Then, Tony had requested Australia's own child-star turned heroin addict Debbie Byrne (who probably was never arrested but I think we're living out some teenaged fantasy here so let's humour him cos it's his fault we play RSM at all...)

And, finally, wasn't there something with Naomi Campbell? Oh, that's right, she beat her maid with a mobile phone.

So, it's taken me two weeks longer than expected, what with the blogstrike and all, but here, at last, is Arrested Celebrity RSM, complete with the Bonus Points for Breeding Pairs game** (and if you're wondering who won the Bonus points in the World Leaders Game #5, look here )


*Four galloping schooners= four very large beers, not quite pints, consumed at the end of a media training session and drunk very quickly because I had to get home to resume my other job of domestic goddess.

** Bonus Points for Breeding Pairs = every RSM game includes three choices of males and three of females from which one must select one to root (to have sex with), one to shoot (to kill, not maim) and one to marry (blah, blah blah). You can play RSM by selecting just from the gender that would interest you in real life or speculating on the other side of the fence, too. Bonus Points can now be earned for choosing which male and which female from each list would be the best pair to breed and which would be the worst. You can thank Thordora for the inspiration for this little adaptation - it wouldn't necessarily work in the pub but it's a fine mutation for our virtual drinking game.


Blogger Joke said...


R = Naomi Campbell, by default
S = Debbie Byrne, to put the poor thing out of her misery
M = Paris Hilton, to score big on the divorce settlement


Blogger Badger said...

Dear God in Heaven. Can't I just shoot them all?


Marry Nolte. Ew.
Root Gibson. Ew. (Can it be a young Gibson? Like Mad Max era? Before we knew he was an asshole?)
Shoot OJ. Duh.

Blogger Blue Moon Girl said...

Root-Mel Gibsom
Marry-Nick Nolte

Root-Debbie Byrne
Shoot-Paris Hilton (because it would save me from her annoying-ness)
Marry-Naomi Campbell (by process of elimination)

Now the pairs is really hard seeing as how they're all pretty bad!
Best Pair-Nick Nolte and Paris Hilton (just because it amuses me for no apparent reason!)
Worst Pair-OJ and Naomi (because they would beat the hell out of each other) or Mel and Paris (because wow.)

An excellent start from the North Americans - love the breeding pair rationale, BMG!

Blogger Lazy cow said...

Root: OJ, because Nick Nolte is just too much of a horror to contemplate. At least OJ *looks* clean.
Shoot: Nick Nolte
Marry: Mel Gibson (he's repented hasn't he?)

Blogger MsCellania said...

With NO MENTION of my former moniker, may I please play? Darned Goooooogle is always watching, ya know....

Ah, let's see:
Root: Ummm, ahhhh, Hmmmmmmm?

OK, ROOT: Ummm, ACK!

Well, the problem is I get to the marry part, and I think Nolte? Too horrid to imagine. OJ? I'd be dead before the evening was out. Mel? Maybe. The alimony would be a living wage. But that leaves rooting Nolte! Because you know, I have to shoot OJ!

Maybe I'll just commence with the breeding (Brooding?) pair:
Mel and Paris. They have those vacant blue eyes and an IQ of at least 79 between the 2 of them. Ah, no; The IQ won't necessarily double with a joining.
Debbie & Nolte? At least we will know what the offspring will look like in old age...
OJ and Naomi? Handsome, violent offspring? Nah - Got plenty of those in the world already.
Hey! I know! Gibson and OJ!
They can always adopt! And Gibson partners well with black men -- Witness all the Lethal Weapon movies!
Yes! Gibson and OJ it is.

Back to the RSM.
Okay, I'd shoot OJ. I HAVE TO SHOOT OJ.
Root Nolte. I'd use 2 bags over our heads, and um, use PLENTY of protection. Make sure my vaccines were all current, too.
Marry Mel. We could have a Jewish ceremony! Mazel tov! And like I said, even a coupla months of marriage would equal a living-wage settlement. Because, you know, I live pretty simply.

welcome back, mscellania - as the title bar says, everyone's welcome in the ladies lounge, even (perhaps especially) fugitives from mad commenters!

Blogger nutmeg said...

Shoot - OJ - I could channel his wife - revenge is sweet.
Marry - Mel - I'm sure he would convert for me.
Root - Nick - in the dark and under sedation.

Best pair Mel and any one of Naomi/Debbie/Paris (but maybe he is racist/ageist/elitest as well?)

Blogger Surfing Free said...

Definitely shoot OJ - He's the only one on the list who actually committed murder in order to get a mugshot.

Root Nick - although I wouldn't want to. And I would make him take a shower first, then I would take several immediately after. Eww!

Marry Mel - I don't believe he is a Jew hating pig. And he was dishy in Tim and he does have lots 'o cash :D

Nice to see that all the boys on the list have managed to get a root at this stage... I must remember to email Tony so we can see what he had planned for Debbie Byrne!

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