I told you it wouldn't be pretty this week.
And it's not.
(Cue: thunderbolt, wild organ music)
Mwah ha hah!!
(Cue: lightning crashes)
You've all had it too easy for too long. Time to face the music (more wild organ chords) and meet this week's villains.
Darth Vader. You might want to think of him as
Evil disfigurement: permanent wheeze and, at his final un-masking, a really nasty scalp condition.
Dr No. Unwanted child of a German Missionary and a Chinese girl of good family. Last seen by 007 as he disappeared in a bubbling vat of overheated radioactive fluids.
Evil disfigurement: he has no hands.
And Count Dracula, the Dark Lord of the Night.
Firstly here, via Bela Lugosi
And then, because I am feeling just a little bit kind, via Richard Roxburgh
Evil disfigurement: undead.
And the femmes fatale.
Cruella de Vil. Puppy killer.
Evil disfigurement: forget the hair, are they knee-high pantyhose she's wearing?
Velma Kelly. Murderess and traitor.
Evil disfigurement: what is it with these chicks and the knee-highs?
Lucrezia Borgia. Poisoner. Mother of eight.
Evil disfigurement: hard to say. But the hollow ring filled with mandragora can't have been much of a turn-on.
Root Shoot Marry rules are here or on the nav bar above.
Go forth, my pretty ones, and chance your fate with EVIL.
Bed 'em, Wed 'em and Dead 'em... As long as they don't get you first!
Bwah ha hah!