... and we're, gonna get ma-a-ahried.
Ah yes, Root, Shoot, Marry number 10 and why do I have wedding bells in mind?
Well here in Australia it is Spring, the season of nuptials and all such frolic. Unless you happen to suffer hayfever, in which case I imagine Spring is the season of snot. Fortunately, the Ladies Lounge is free of any variety of snot today and, indeed, verging on rude and ruddy health so Spring is placing far more frivolous thoughts in my mind.
And what could be more frivolous than a celebrity wedding?
I mean, come on! Haven't celeb marriages become something like Formula One car racing? Incredibly expensive, terribly exotic, hugely wasteful, largely attention-seeking and almost inevitably destined for a fiery, bloody crash.
So tonight we play to love, honour and obey with three recent celebrity weddings, two of them already well publicised crash-and-burns, and one that, well, is still spinning around the track.
And the advantage of this week's theme? When it comes to the 'marry' choice you'll already know what your dress, or tux, will look like!
The rules are here, or you can use the link on my snazzy new horizontal nav bar up above this post.
Female Number One - Renee Zellweger
Male Number One - Kenny Chesney
Annulled after four months. Zellweger cites 'fraud' as the cause. Could size really matter?
Female number two: Jennifer Aniston
Male number two: Brad Pitt
Divorced after five years. Destroyed by the Brangelina Affair or did Jen wreck her own bliss by - gasp - REFUSING TO HAVE BRAD'S BABIES?????
Female Number Three - Nicole Kidman (known to all Downunder as "Our Nic")
Male Number Three - Keith Urban (known to all Downunder as "Keith Who?")
Married in Sydney, June 2006. Recent news stories have Keith confessing the wedding was almost called off. They managed to survive that hiccup, but will they ever get past the constant public inspection of Our Nic's tummy for a baby bump?
Poor Our Nic, my suggestion, just quietly, is that she arrange to be seen in a very public pharmacy, preferably one with lots of CCTV cameras, ostentatiously asking for and purchasing Hormone Replacement Therapy pills.
So go forth and frolic among the pretty and the fatuous; root 'em, shoot 'em, marry 'em to hell an' back. And play nice with Our Nic. Remember, so far she's the only woman on earth smart enough to divorce Tom Cruise.