Friday, November 24, 2006
Root Shoot Marry #15 : it's a rootin' tootin' high falutin' rodeo game this week!
Have you ever wanted land? Lots of land? Under starry skies above?

How about a ride to the ridge where the west commences, where you can gaze at the moon until you lose your senses? If you can't look at hobbles and you can't stand fences*, you're in the right place to play Root Shoot Marry #15 - a game where even cowgirls with the blues can get a little steamy under the stetson.

Yippee-yi-yo-ky-yay mother pluckers, jump in the saddle and we're away!

I mean, who hasn't been caught up in a Western, at least once? Who hasn't held their breath as the cattle stampeded, the trigger jammed, or the old yeller dog looked up, adoringly, one (sob) last (sob) time...?

Rules are here, or, in brief: pick one to root (shag), one to shoot and one to marry. No dodging the bullet. Personally, I think I've been a bit easy on you AGAIN this week, so you shouldn't have any trouble finding at least a shaggable choice here, even if murder and marriage cause you some problems. **

Remember, it's in your interest to find someone friendly among the victims below - it can get awful lonely out thar on the prairie, if your horse ain't the obliging type.

The Cowboys

1. John Wayne, the Duke

2. Heath Ledger, what a happy young man...

3. Clint Eastwood, Josey Wales

The Cowgirls

1. Jane Fonda, Cat Ballou

2. Jane from F Troop

3. Sharon Stone in The Quick and the Dead

Hang 'em high, sling 'em wide, rope 'em in...



*What can I say? Ella Fitzgerald made me do it.

** And you know what two easy weeks means? Expect the unexpected next Friday, dudes and dudettes...


Blogger Stomper Girl said...

Yeehaw! Or however you spell that.

Jane from F Troop?!?!? I loved her when I was a little girl. I think she was my first role model. She loved that poncey captain with the strange first name that I really need someone to remember for me.

Root: Clint Eastwood. But only cause he's young compared to the other really old, dead guy.
Shoot: Marion I mean the Dook cos he'd dead anyway, and
Marry: Heath and never have oranges in the house ever.

And in answer to your question about who hasn't been caught up in a western at least once, that would be me.

Don't fence me in.
(I like the Bing Crosby/Andrews Sister version btw, its got a beautiful honky tonk pee-yanna bit in the middle)


His name was Wilbur and I quietly adored him too.

Although, in hindsight, Jane could have done much better...

And I don't believe there's not a Western out there with your name on it, Stomper. Maybe you just haven't seen it yet!

Blogger Jane Henry said...

Hells bells. This is difficult. I want to root/marry them all....

Actually no I don't. John Wayne has never done it for me. So I'd have to shoot him.

Root Clint - no reasons needed.

Marry Heath because he was so cute in A Knight's Tale.

As to the wimmin. Got it badly wrong last week when I played on Spouse's behalf (He'd have shot Marilyn, shagged Diana and married Grace. We wouldn't do very well on an episode of Mr and Mrs..)

But I think his choices would be:

Shoot Jane F because he can't stand her.
Root Sharon Stone - no contest!
Marry Jane cos she looks homely. I have noooo idea who she is.

Rolling, rolling, rolling.... Rawhide....

I think Clint would have to be rooted more then once just to make sure I'd made the right choice.

Blogger Joke said...

As usual, the three answers all hinge on one unavoidable conclusion.

R - Sharon Stone. She seems to have a knack for it AND in The Specialist she got felt up by Sylvester Stallone in my church. Therefore, she wouldn't do as a wife.

S - This is the no brainer. Jane Fonda. Not enough bandwidth to explain why. Suffice it to say I'd get a parade out of it.

M - Jane, because she looks attractive and yet vaguely maternal. And she's the only one left.


Blogger velcro said...

same as Stomper girl

root Clint Eastwood
Shoot John Wayne (I hold him responsible for all westerns everywhere)
Marry Heath - never heard of him.

have never ever liked a western. Sat through that one with Robert Redford and the guy with the blue eyes only cos I wanted to see what the blue eyed guy looked like. see can't even remember the name of the film.

Blogger Badger said...

Shoot Heath. He does nothing for me.

Root Eastwood. It's the squint.

Marry the Duke. Because to this day, my grandma adores him, and she'd never forgive me if I shot him.

Blogger MsCellania said...

Root: Heath - again, the youthful and staying power.

Shoot: Da Duke - Only Southerners are allowed to speak so slowly. I would finish every one of his sentences and finally strangle him in frustration.

Marry: Clint - He seems okay with loud, bossy women...

Blogger Carolyn said...

This one is tough. If I shoot Clint Eastwood or John Wayne, I am unamerican. Hmmmmm.

Now I have to think awhile again, like last week. :P

Blogger jellyhead said...

Hi Bec, thanks for disclosing your 'touchy-feely' category! I also found the experience of having my pregnant tummy fondled a little unpleasant - especially when my belly button started poking out, and the cheeky tummy-touchers started commenting on that!! (inwardly: "Hel-LO! Did I ASK you to touch it?!")

To play the game...

Root John Wayne. What can I say - big burly blokes do it for me.

Shoot Clint. Sorry Clint, it's just that you're on your second marriage already (or is it 3rd?), and I'm sure you'd end up leaving me for someone younger again. Plus you're way too old for me.

Marry Heath. He's cute, and seems nice enough - that covers all the requirements for marriage, right? ;)

Hope you have a brilliant weekend Bec.

Welcome, Jellyhead!

Velcro - as with Stomper, I maintain you just haven't seen the right one yet. Not that I'm a huge WEsterns buff, it's just that the genre is so broad, there must be something there for you.

How about the Three Amigos?!

Anonymous The Prof said...


Shoot Sharon Stone (someone has to)
Marry Jane Fonda (reliable and rich)
Root Jane from F Troop (because, before you knew about marriage and murder, there was always Jane)

Blogger Stomper Girl said...

I googled that Captain. Wilton Parmenter. He was a wuss. I liked Sarge.

My friend tells me I would love Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Does it count as a western?
(And yes, I am slightly embarrassed that I've never seen it. Never seen Casablanca either, for the record.)

Blogger Joke said...


Don't feel bad, I've never seen Sound of Music. Nor do I intend to.


Blogger Suse said...

Joke, you have not lived a full and proper life.

Blogger Suse said...

And that photo of Jane Fonda? I could turn.

Suse - is she not hot? I can't believe Joke would shoot her for what I suspect are entirely political reasons... And possibly for that stuff with Ted and CNN - didn't all that happen in Florida? Still, each to his own.

The fact that Joke has never seen the Sound of Music? Explains a lot.

God, Stomper, you're right! It was Wilton. Even WORSE than Wilbur. But I was close ;)

Yes, you would love Butch and Sundance, apart from what now sounds like very weird sixties background music. Yes, it counts as a Western.

Blogger Carolyn said...

Well it took some thinking. :)

Root - John Wayne. He's a legend. Besides, he has big hands.

Shoot - Clint Eastwood for making us suffer through watching Sandra Locke in her movies. If I never have to hear her voice again, it will be too soon.

Marry - Heath Ledger for obvious reasons. Mmmmmmmm.

Blogger Blue Moon Girl said...

Wow! I accidentally forgot to play last week. (Sorry!)

Root - John Wayne because he was the ultimate cowboy!
Shoot - Clint Eastwood and do the world a favor. and he annoys me a lot.
Marry - Heath because hot damn!!

And from Mr. B -
Root - Sharon Stone (especially if it could be the first Basic Instinct Sharon Stone)
Shoot - Jane from F Troop because it was a dumb show.
Marry - Jane Fonda because wow! that is one heck of a picture!!

Blogger Joke said...

Oh, there are LOTS more reasons to shoot her.

Hell, just that movie she made with J. Lo is enough to warrant it.


Blogger nutmeg said...

Shoot: Heath. Am I the only one that finds this guy annoying? He's got a bit of the LLeyton Hewitts for me. Too grumpy and angry (off camera). Though I did think his acting was good in Brokeback (though I was wondering if he was actually acting).

Root: Clint. He can Dirty Harry me anytime.

Marry: Well, process of elimination really. Lucky he's already dead :-)

Blogger Stomper Girl said...

So you don't think all the pregnant women on your blogroll will be snaffling that name up? Guaranteed to be the only Wilton in the grade...

Blogger kt said...

Buch Cassidy is indeed a great western with two gorgeous hunks at a peak moment in their respective hunky-ness-es. Mmmmmmm.

Back to the task at hand:

Root: Heath (not my type, really, but I'll send him along to everyone else who wants him as soon as we're dne, 'kay?)

Shoot: John Wayne (wit his own shootin' iron) (Mr. Conservative Jerk-o)

Marry: Clint (but we have to freeze time so he stays looking like he does in the lovely photo you've chosen)

And who said last week was easy?

Blogger Carolyn said...

Oops, I meant to say "his" movies. I don't think she had any of her own.

Anonymous CrankMama said...

Is there anyone on the planet as adorable as Jane in Cat Ballou...? I'd take her and Heath Ledger on a bet.

to root, that is...

And I'm not in the mood for shooting OR marriage today so I'll leave it at that.

Blogger ewe are here said...

Sorry, but I can't abide by the rules. Just.can' ;-)

So I'm crossing party lines and shooting Sharon Stone (can't stand her).

And I'm rooting AND marrying Heath Ledger. He had me at 10 Things I Hate About You.

Anonymous shula said...

M: Clint. He could teach me to shoot, and wouldn't hassle me to give up smoking.

R: The Duke. Have I mentioned I have this thing for men who remind me of bears? Just as long as he didn't talk politics in bed. Then I'd have to shoot him.

S: Heath. For making me sit through Brokeback Mountain, a film in desperate need of ruthless editing.

AND alos I shoot (casually and accurately) at the feet and spit in the general direction of all those who say they don't like westerns. How can you not like something so totally enormous and varied? It's like saying you don't like country music...would that be Appalachian folk or big band swing?


Go rent yourself Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and anything by Sergio Leone. Then we'll talk.

I LOVE Once Upon A Time in Mexico - AND the sequel/prequels (I get confused about the order, but you know the ones I mean?)

That thing with the guitar all the way through - and when Johnny Depp shoots blind - and every single brilliant moment of Antonio...And all that stuff with what's really in the guitar/bass cases: how did they pull that off so it didn't look stupid?

But we must be kind to our non-Western watching fellows, Shula, they know not what they miss...

Anonymous shula said...

YES! YES! Not to mention the special features section, where Roger Rodriguez cooks that incredible slow pork dish (which is why Johnny Depp carries on about pork all through the movie). It has stayed with me always, though where you'd find the spices in Melbourne is a mystery. It's a pork dish worthy of Joke.

Alright then, Bec, I promise not to spit, but I WILL SHOOT CASUALLY, just to wake them up a bit.

Blogger Joke said...

On the matter of westerns, I recommend: My Name Is Trinity.


P.S. Barbarella, that idiotic video with those idiotic leggings...

Blogger creative-type dad said...

joke -

Don't be dissing Barbarella - Jane was looking pretty good in that movie (even though the plot was pretty lame)

Blogger Jane Henry said...

Bec, Shula,

I love westerns too.

Anything with Clint in, obviously... but specifically A Fistful of Dollars/A Few Dollars More, and Hang em High or whatever it is called.

And anyone who doesn't like westerns should be made to watch Once Upon a Time in the West. Tis a thing of genius. Henry Fonda is seriously scary.

And as for Johnny in Once Upon A Time in Mexico. Big big sigh... He is to die for, but actually though I love Johnny to bits I do have a problem choosing between him and Antonio in that film.

That trilogy is also a work of genius.

And to completely change the subject. All Johnny Depp lovers should be obliged to watch The Libertine if they haven't already. The earl of Rochester is one of my all time literary heroes, so to have him played by one of my all time cinematic heroes is just too too much...

love Janexxx

Blogger Surfing Free said...

Righto 'ho, I'm going to shoot John Wayne cause he ain't getting in the sack with me married or unmarried!!!

I'll shag Heath because he looks rather shaggable and I'll take Clint to the alter because I've always rather fanied him and now I can MAKE him marry me ;) But the facial fuzz has to go.

I used to LOVE F-Troop as well!! My American Hubby has never heard of it so I'm not sure if many Americans actually got to see it.

Blogger Muzbot said...

Hmmm... I don't want to play this week because, frankly, there are not enough bullets... However, in the spirit of drunken selections:

R: Clint and Jane from F Troop. Why? once again, get the whole thing over and done with and move on.

S: John and Shazza. ZZzzz... John's drawl and Shazza's conversations about herself would put me to sleep faster than a sniff of Chloroform.

M: Heath and Jane. Although, I know divorce would soon follow. Heath would get the boot because of his ever so small ego and Jane would too because she seems to have a slight obsession with all things political. ZZZzzz

Blogger Joke said...

Oh, and there's 9-to-5 and Agnes of God...


Blogger Suse said...

Heh, just read Shula's comment and now understand why she left a comment on my blog while wearing a Mexican poncho and gripping a cigar between her teeth.

There must be a word for that form of commenting while still under the influence of one's previous comment.

Blogger shellyC said...

Riding off into the sunset....maybe on a bike!!! I have had too many bad experiences on horses to get on one - even behind one of these guys!!

Anyway....this week.

Root -Heath as he is just too cute!!

Marry -Clint. At least it wouldn't be a long marriage (he is well over 70 isn't he?).

Shoot - the Duke. He never did anything for me!! And couldn't now either!!

I'll leave the girls this week and stay straight!

I'm not buying it, Joke. I still think you're acting out for your inner Tory.

Mind, I'm not denying she was shit in Agnes of God.

But just LOOK at her as Cat Ballou, man!

Blogger Angry Dad said...

Root: Jane Fonda, who wouldn't want a woman who could do all those aerobics and wear chaps.
Shoot: Sharon Stone. Just Plain Nasty.
Marry: Jane from F-Troop. I'd need someone who could save me from my various predicaments, and who was purdy as well!

Anonymous Shula said...

And believe it or not, Suse, I left you that comment before Bec had posted this week's RSM.

Spooky, huh?

Anonymous Shula said...

And Joke, what about her fun and perky aerobics series?

Damn Jane to Hell for that, mate.

Blogger Joke said...

I'm not saying my inner Tory wouldn't love it. But Lee Marvin's character had to be utterly inebriated throughout the film.

I'm just saying.


P.S. Shula, cf. the leggings bit.
P.P.S. Of course, if we had been discussing Bridget Fonda, this'd be a whole 'nother thing.

Anonymous sueeeus said...

These comments are just too hilarious! Nobody's even mentioned Deadwood. The language was vile but with a beautiful and poetic cadence. The villains are villainly and the valiants are valiant. Anyhooooo. The task at hand.
R. Heath, because I have to reserve Clint for later, and he's too pretty to shoot, plus I don't know anything vile about him, so he gets to live.
S. The Duke, because I used up my R and M.
M. Clint. Because now I can keep him and root him too. Oh me oh my.

Blogger MsCellania said...

My Gawd, Bec; you are getting infamous with the Bed, Wed, Dead thing - 42 comments!

No, really. Just talk among yourselves, don't mind me...

Blogger Nic said...

I know I'm late with this, but I've been trawling through the old RSMs for a giggle and just HAD to respond to this one.

For me, this was pretty easy:

Root: Clint - for an older guy, he is HOT

Shoot: the Duke - that swaggering rolling walk has never done anything for me!

Marry: Heath Heath Heath! He is gorgeous, and rooting him once would NEVER be enough! And on a ompletely different note, could I really bring myself to spend the rest of my life in the USA - no - toooooo wierd. But Heath could whisk me back to Oz (well, once he's done the decent thing by Michelle William, anyway). Americans I've met are so up themselves, but I've never met an uptight Aussie...

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