Friday, February 09, 2007
Root Shoot Marry #21 - Until Theyre Hooves Were Steeped In Bloode
There are enough bookish people who visit here that I can say this without feeling weird.

I cannot find my Morte d'Arthur and it is making me twitch.

It's not a special edition, and I imagine it would be easily replaced, but when I went to look for it to check the quote that was stuck in my head for this post (see title) I. Couldn't. Find. It.

Not anywhere.

Twitching. No, seriously: twitching now.

So, if anyone has their Thomas Malory handy and can find the bit where they are jousting (I think it's in the Lancelot chapter but am not sure) and they fight and fight and fight until theyre horses hooves are steeped in bloode... PLEASE feel free to correct my quote.

What an unsatisfactory way to lead into this otherwise terribly romantic Root Shoot or Marry game #21.

Ah, Lancelot. Do we love him to bits and wish he were ours? Do we hate him as the self-centred spoiler who destroyed Camelot? Do we go for the notion that he was really hot for Arthur but took young Guinevere for the money?

And what of Guinevere? More sinned against than sinning? Annoying twat or warrior queen? Heroine or temptress - or both?

These, then, are your choices for RSM this week.

Lancelot - three ways, and thrice times Guinevere.

Come lay thee down in a medieval bed of love: for lust, for marriage, or for tragic, tragic death.

The Lancelots

Ioan Gruffudd. I admit bias this week. Seriously: I would learn Welsh for this man. I cannot imagine why it has taken me so long to list him. Expect a repeat appearance under some pretext or other for me to post him in his Hornblower outfit in the very near future.

Robert Taylor
Means nothing to me, but the Prof tells me he was very big Way Back When and it makes me feel young for the Prof to come up with movie stars I barely know.

Richard Gere. One of those polarising types. I expect y'all to be fairly evenly split on the love-hate thing for Richard, but, hey! I been wrong before...

The Guineveres

Amanda Donohoe, what on earth was she thinking to appear in a movie with Whoopi Goldberg?

Julia Ormond, probably should have stuck with Arthur in this version.

And Keira Knightley. Oh dear. I seem to have been a bit mean on the girl side this week. sorry about that. Still, shouldn't be too hard to find someone to kill, should it?

If I could find my Malory I would leave you with something chivalrous and courtly to represent the life and death strugggle of cliff, shag or marry.

Since he's lost, I can only say, mtc.




Blogger Joke said...



R - Keira. Doesn't strike me as suitably marital. Probably would start coveting my neighbor's husband in mid-honeymoon. So we best just kiss and say g'bye.

S - Amanda. I have had a smoldering desire to visit ordnance upon her since her days on L.A. Law. So this works out.

M - Which leaves Julia. Who is very pretty in a girl-next-door way and I don't see her career being too terribly hectic these days.


Blogger Jane Henry said...

Oooh Bec - I have a version of Morte D'Arthur (as befits very serious ex Eng Lit student) - but it's only book one. Will try and see if I can find relevant bit.

You've taken me to my favourite literary place, but you haven't got all my favourite Lancelots - where's the one from Excalibur?.

No contest for me this week.

Root AND marry Ioan. I loved that film. If you'd chosen Arthurs, I;d have to go for Clive Owen too.

I don't know Robert Taylor sooo, I think he'd have to go, otherwise I suppose I could marry him for a quiet life. Really I want to shag the one from Excalibur and marry Ioan.

And no doubt about it - shoot not only Richard Gere, but the appalling person who inflicted such a ridiculous version of England's greatest myth on us...


R or Marry Keira. SHe is great in that film.

Shoot Amanda and Julia for both being deeply annoying.

At a pinch I suppose I could root Amanda, but Julia has to be shot for taking part in such a terrible film!

Off to find my Morte D'Arthur....

Blogger Jane Henry said...

Is it...
Book 6 Chapter 8 - Lancelot and Sir Turquine....

"Then they hurtled together as two wild bulls rushing and lashing with their shields and their swords, that sometime they fell both over their noses. Thus they fought still two hours and more, and never would have rest, and Sir Turquine gave Sir Lancelot many wounds that all the ground thereas they fought was all bespeckled with blood."

There's a very funny bit before that when Launcelot is in a knight's bed and gets kissed!

Blogger MsCellania said...

Root - Gere
Shoot - Taylor
Marry - Ioan

I had to kick around the rootee and shootee a bit. I'd root a late 30's Gere, quite happily.

Blogger meggie said...

Getting old here, but cant say I remember Robert Taylor?

root Ioan

shoot Robert

marry Richard- on condition he never act in period costume again. Ludicrous.

BTW Great to see you back, Bec.

Blogger h&b said...

I can't play !!
I don't read those sorts of books, and I don't watch those types of filums ( usually ).

Meanwhile, i'm swooning that there's a new Hugh Grant moofie out in only a matter of days.

I feel such a bimbo ;)

Blogger kt said...

Root: Ioan (on your recommendation)

Shoot: Gere--not a good choice of film for him, and he's guilty of that on so many counts.

Marry: R. Taylor--there would have to be time travel so that we could be a wild, merrily swinging, drinking couple in the 50's, and that'd be fine.

All the ladies would have to punt. None captures my eye.

We missed you! I liked your shapes from Wednesday. Thanks for making my Friday night fun after a week that would be described primarily with words one should not use in front of one's offspring. (I'll describe the new doctor in my office in words from T.H. White's "The Once and Future King; now being read-aloud at bedtime by my redhead to my girlie: "vacuous brachet!"

More tequila, anyone?

Blogger nutmeg said...

Picture me stetch luxuriously before typing:

Root: Gere - he seems good for a one night stand
Shoot: Taylor - was/is he Australian? He's probably already dead; so my works done for me.
Marry: Ioan (my first sighting of this delicious morsel was in The Forsyte Saga - drool, drool. Then I fell in love with seafaring stories mainly because of his appearance in Hornblower. Saturday night viewing was, for a short time, very good with the repeat of this series!)

Blogger nutmeg said...

stetch = stretch (just to clear that up!)

Blogger My float said...

Definitely marry Ioan, whether he's in seafare get-up or in knight's armour. He my man.

Robert Taylor was Australian but clearly forgettable. And he's dead. That means he'd be rootable because I'd clearly never be unfaithful to my man Ioan.

Shoot Richard. Sorry, it's not me, it's you. You're just so...bland.

I love youse all.*

And I know you forgive me that I love Ioan better.

*'youse': is it only Australians who will get that as satire?

Anonymous tracey petersen said...

A very intellectual root, shoot or marry:

R: Richard Gere - but he'll have to take that armour off first, I catch a chill easily.

S: Robert Taylor - although he died in 1969, so it is probably a waste of a perfectly good bullet.

M: Ioan Gruffudd - what is he planning to do with that sword? I should stay around to find out.

Anonymous The Prof said...

Well since I was responsible for Robert and ladies of my vintage used to swoon over him I guess I will have to post on the Guineveres.

R- Keira she looks too good in the outfit and all the other movies she has been in

M - Julia because she's French

S - Amanda as she played a lawer, what can i say other than the catfish joke springs to mind

Blogger My float said...

Catfish joke, Professor?

Blogger scribbit said...

I had a hard time with the Arthur movie (with Keira Knightly) merely because every time she showed up on screen with that big wide belt strapped around her sad little chest I wanted to laugh. Evidently malnutrition was the effect they were going for in picking her and her wardrobe.

And I'm in agreement on the H. Hornblower issue. Only problem is one time on the internet I inadvertently stumbled upon a picture entitled "Gruff in the Buff" that (besides being a bit of a shock) cracked me up and I've never been able to think of old Horatio the same way since.

And speaking of ill-received nude shots: my husband informs me that the kid playing Harry Potter is set to do a Broadway play where he has nude scenes. Eew. Like anyone wants to see old Harry a la carte. Talk about "dirty Harry!" :)

Blogger scribbit said...

And I'm impressed with your Malory crush. Morte D'Arthur was one I never got around to. I read Idyls of the King and The Once and Future King but that's as close as I got.

Blogger Stomper Girl said...

I haven't actually seen any of these versions, the only Arthurian movie I ever saw was Excalibur and that was a long time ago now. I love the whole Arthurian legend, but find it profoundly depressing at the same time - what with the chance for people to achieve so much good being brought down by human frailty and all. And I have only really seen Ioan in The Forsyte Saga and truth to tell I barely noticed him because I developed a massive thing for the guy playing Soames! But all this notwithstanding my vote goes to:

R: Richard Gere providing there's not even a hint of gerbil-related activities. (Someone had to say it...)

S: The already dead guy (not for any personal reasons you understand.)

M: Ioan. I'm willing to find out more about him and surely that's a good basis for a marriage?

Blogger Nic said...


Root: Richard Gere - has to be done once, but I couldn't live long term with the Buddhist chanting.

Shoot: Nothing personal, but it would have to Robert Taylor, on a needs must basis.

Marry: the delectable Ioan. Even if he lloked like a moose, I love his voice, the fact that I wouldn't have to spend my married life with my eyes closed is a bonus!

A came to a conclusion very quickly this week.

Root: Keira - no real desire to, but she was the only one left.

Shoot: Julia Ormand - A doesn't like the French...

Marry: Amanda. He's had a think for her for years, although I don't think he's given much thought to the ramifications of marrying the lead from The Lair of The White Worm!

Blogger creative-type dad said...

Is it just me, or does that dude look a lot like Lionel Richie?

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