How to bone a lamb. No sheep porn intended. Kiwis, look away.

First take your lamb leg. This one is about 2kg. We'll call it dinner, shall we?

Remove from your mind all memories of Hannibal Lecter.

Make sure your knife is very sharp.

Stick it in at the top of the leg around the boniest part and make a nice long cut down the length of the bone.



With your very sharp knife, slide the blade along the bone carefully to gradually open up the leg with as much meat intact as possible.

Try hard to forget every television autopsy show you've ever seen.



Also, Nip/Tuck. You definitely don't want to be reminiscing about that one episode you saw of Nip/Tuck when you thought it was just a fluffy show about ogling the son of a former Australian Prime Minister.



Keep going, slow and steady, slicing away the meat from the bone.

It would also be advisable not to think about the hospital tents in the American Civil War.

Because pretty soon you should end up with this.



Hold it together.

You've just made your dog happier than she's been since her last chance to roll in cowshit. No. Wait. Happier.



The Pea Princess. She makes the dog happy too.

Next examine the corpse meat. There will be a big thick bit on one side and a thickish bit on the other side.



Make some slices through the thick bit along the grain. It might help to think of the arsehole who stood you up on your birthday that year. The knife is sharp; it should slide through that thick meat like butter.

Ahem.

It will flatten out like so.






Pop it into a coffin suitable container while you make the embalming mix marinade.



My marinade included some of these from the garden...



... and a bottle of Greek Giro mix that's been tickling my fancy half the summer (it usually shows up in tiny lamb meatballs, but on this occasion it hit the big time).

And lemon zest and juice.

And olive oil, of course.

And garlic. LOTS of garlic.



(pictured here: the third addition of garlic to the mix, taking the total to an entire head of cloves).


Rub it into all those lovely crevices, as well as the extra slices you carved into his face the skin side of the lamb earlier.



Marinate in fridge while you get pissed with your friends.

Watch them ooh and ah as you bring it out to cook (actual quote: "Oh my god - WHAT is that?")

Barbeque on a hot hot grill for a few minutes each side to get a nice crusty exterior. Then pop it into a baking tray and sit it on your bbq's plate side, turning off that side's gas while leaving the gas running under the grill... Are you still with me? Close the hood, let it cook on the indirect heat until it feels fleshy rather than squishy when you push down. Squeeze lemon juice over the lamb and the coals as you cook.



sorry folks. I was too busy eating and drinking to get the money shot.

But this is what it looked like much, much later...


Served with: baked jacket potatoes; cherry tomato, capsicum, baby spinach and bocconcini salad; cucumber, yoghurt and mint.

Preceded by: lime and chilli prawn skewers.
Succeeded by: made-from-scratch chocolate cream tart.

When my husband woke this morning the first thing he said to me was : "Hey, great dinner last night".

Which made it seem blogworthy. Gory, but blogworthy.

mtc

Bec