Monday, February 26, 2007
Time to go.
Yes. Time to go.

I had thought I would finish up on the 12 month mark for the Ladies Lounge but I trust my feelings and it is time to go.

It’s been wonderful playing around here in the blogosphere and I can’t be sure I won’t return in some way in the future, but I’m calling a halt for now.

There are a number of reasons.

The most tedious, although certainly not the most important, is a benign stalker. Not a commenter, I hasten to add, just a sad little man with a distorted view of the world and his place in it. He has my pity rather than my ire and although I have become very good at ignoring him, I will be very happy to think he no longer has access to the happies, the sads and the downright mundanes of my ordinary little life.

No, the most important reason is the most obvious one.

It's not that I'm going on a Tibetan trek to find my spirit animal.

It's not that I've developed chronic arthritis in my right thumb andcannolongerusethespacebar. Although: creative punctuation? Definitely a side-effect of blogging.

It's not quite that I'm suffering performance anxiety from hanging around so many incredibly talented people like your many and varied good selves.

And it's not that I have to concentrate on my three-book deal while supervising the screenplay of my as-yet-unpublished - oops, unwritten - brilliant first novel.


So. Here's the thing.

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed how few women who blog are also mothers of three in full-time paid employment in high stress jobs?


I’ve never bought into writing about that side of my life (apart from whinging, which we all agree doesn’t count) but those things do make a difference.

It also is important to me to be around for a full and happy (or only partly grouchy) life with my lovely husband, who has stood by me through more storms than you could know. Apparently this is not always obvious when I have a laptop sitting where god intended it while watching tv with him. If marriage is give and take, one of the things I give is this.

And it's not in my nature to be half-hearted about things that I do. But sadly, a lot of the time, I can only afford to spend half-a-heart here for all the above reasons.

When it comes down to taws, the thing I have loved most about blogging has been the discipline of writing several times a week. And my biggest frustration has been finding that there are days when my head is so full of the work and the kids and the family and the relationship and the money and the work and the car and the work and the cooking and the cleaning and the wherethefuckdidIgo and the neverending work that I couldn't write worth a damn without death and destruction raining in my wake.

And while there is an attraction in reading the thoughtfulness of so many of you who actually.have.time.for.thought.dammit, there is sometimes jealousy, too, and occasionally even [hate to admit this] a side-order of bitter that I had not been so smart as to structure my life that way too.

That ain't healthy.


I’ll keep the Ladies Lounge email open for a while and if you'd like to know if I'm going to start up again, send me an email (I can't always track back to your emails through comments alone) and I'll tell you if it happens.

No m.ore t.o c.ome.

Not just yet, anyway.



Blogger Jane Henry said...


I've just emailed you, but....

I understand all of your reasons for going.

I will be in mourning till you come back.

And I think you are incredible with all you achieve.

Stay chilled.

Look after your spouse.

And your littlies, and if/when the time is right find that space to come back and play with us all again.

I'm sure we'll all be waiting...

It's been an honour.
love Janex

Blogger Em said...

I'm sorry you've got to go, but I understand - I know I teeter on the edge from time to time. I'll miss you & your blog.

Blogger Joke said...

Well, poo.

This isn't going to, in your absence, turn into a porno site like LC's old blog, is it? 'Cause THAT was a bit of work to explain to my wife.


Anonymous shula said...
Blogger MsCellania said...


But I totally get it.

I don't work outside the home, and I don't have much time for bloggy goodness.

And it's sad that some feel the need to try to skim off another's life by stalking. Anything for attention.

I will miss checking in with you, Bec. Really, Really miss you.

Blogger Sarah Louise said...

Well, I don't stop by often enough, but I understand. Stay sane!!

And stalkers suck. Believe me, I know.

I can't think of anything else to say. This feels like signing someone's yearbook at the end of senior year...


Blogger Caro said...

Oh man. I will miss your blog.

It always stinks to lose someone funny and smart and easy to talk to.

I wish you luck and I'll get myself on your e-mail list.

Who will do root shoot marry now? Wah.

Blogger Badger said...

Oh. Well, crap.

Off to send a somewhat more loquacious email....

Blogger scribbit said...

I'll miss you, you were one of the first bloggers to be kind to me as I started up. I understand about your reasons I think, if you change your mind I'll look forward to seeing you open for business at a future date.

And I will miss you all too, and your great blogs, and watching your comments come in as the world turns from England to America to Australia and back again...

Blogger velcro said...

Oh shit no! I'm so sorry that you're going but yes I understand why. Am going to have to look at this email thingy now.

Take care


Anonymous thordora said...

I understands, but I'll keep you in my feeds in the hopes of seeing you again. :)

Blogger Emma said...

I am going to miss you so much. You see, I am jealous of you. Sometimes I feel so mired down in the whole at home mother thing that I doubt I even remember how to think.

You have inspired and enlightened me in lots of little ways, and the blogosphere will never be the same again.

Take care, Emma

Blogger Lisa said...

Yup. I'll miss you, too! I just found you!!! :) Anyone volunteering to carry on with root shoot or marry? I'd love to keep playing!!! I'll have to go back and do the archives just for fun now.....

A good brave decision from you, Bec. Balance is what it's all about -- it's easy to get lost in the blogosphere and forget your real life....

Blogger h&b said...

Oh Bec - sorry to hear this ! :(

Hope to see you around in one form or another, but you're right that it's best to look after yourself and those around you first.

Not creepy stalkers.

Orf to send you an email. I thought of the Punisher on the weekend, and thought of you ;)

Blogger meggie said...

I will surely miss you Bec. You were so encouraging & helpful to me when I first began!

I wish you much joy with your husband & family, & in your career!

Anonymous Meg said...


I only recently found your blog & have enjoyed the stay.

As a mother (of 4), wife, business owner and blogger, I can appreciate the difficulty in achieving "balance". You have to do what's best for everyone.

I wish you every happiness.

Blogger My float said...
Blogger Stomper Girl said...

Dear Bec,

Your blog has been such fun and I will really miss it. You brought together a bloggie community with your RSM game and your lively combox! No wonder so many of us are sad to see you go.

Wishing you all the best and hope to have you back at some stage.

Emailing now xx

Anonymous Uli said...
Blogger Blue Moon Girl said...

I am with whoever said that this feels like signing someone's yearbook at the end of senior year.

You were the first person to be nice to me when I started blogging. You were my first commenter ever. I think it's funny that so many here have said that you were the first person to be nice and comment on their blog. It shows what an incredibly fabulous person you are.

Enjoy your family and your life. Good luck. I will miss you terribly.

Off to send an email should you ever come back again.

Blogger nutmeg said...

I don't know what to write :-(

I understand what your saying - priorities and that. There is only so much space in one life; so something has to give sometime. I was lamenting a little while back about how motherhood was hard work - and I don't work outside the home as well! As the title of that book says "I Don't Know How She Does It". And I don't.

I will miss your posts and it was wonderful to meet you in "real" life. I don't wish to be "muddled up" with that stalker but anytime you may wish to meet up again in the future please contact me. I will add my name to your e-mail list.

Good luck with it Bec, maybe a journal could take blogging's place - stay with the writing discipline and all. Just a thought...

Blogger kt said...

Crap on toast.

My Friday nights will have lost a goodly portion of their zing without you--

But I agree wholeheartedly with the tribe in that you most soit-anly have your priorities striaght.

I've added your addy to my book, so please do tell us when we can look forward to laughing with you again.

Be well!

Blogger Surfing Free said...

So sad to see you go :( But I understand about being busy busy busy ... and I agree that being available for your family and 'real' life is much more important .. dammit!
I'm going to email you so that you can tell me the moment you start writing again.
Good luck with everything and now I'm doubly cheesed-off that I didn't get to meet you for that drink last year ....

Anonymous anna said...

Never been here before and am very sorry to show up just as the party is ending. Enjoy your real life.

Blogger Muzbot said...

Thanks for sharing. I have to admit, it was your's and Kim's blog that helped me get into and enjoy blogging when I did. You'll be missed, but in the spirit of adventure and getting out there, having some fun and spending time with the loved ones... "GO FOR IT!" Yay!

Good luck.
- Murray

Blogger Muzbot said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Lazy cow said...

I felt a dull ache when I read on Another Nutter's blog that you're calling it a day. Haven't been around the blogosphere much lately either, and I can totally understand all your reasons, but I'll miss you just the same. Loved RSM.
Make sure you still get some time to write - even if no one else is reading. You're a very good writer, don't give up!!! All the best. XXX

Blogger Suse said...

I'm with the person who said crap on toast.


Blogger Tracey Petersen said...

Well, you can only do what you can do! This has become my mantra when I sit and consider all of the things that I leave incomplete in a day of working, parenting and running a home. If blogging is one of those things that you can't do ...then that is how it should be. I enjoy your wit and banter and your clever take on the world. Good luck with all that you do.

Blogger blackbird said...

hugs and kisses from far away...

Blogger daysgoby said...

Oh! This is so sad!

B, I'll miss you.

And I hope you come back and see us sometime.

Blogger Nic said...

I can't add anything original here at all, but I will miss you! I haven't been doing RSm for long, but A and I have been having a laugh doing it.

Totally understand the need for clawing back the time, every week I go into the office to do my planning and find 2 hours have gone by either reading/writing/commenting on blogs.

Take care, and thank you.

Blogger telfair said...

I'm rather crushed, but I totally understand.

You will be missed. You will leave a large sucking hole in the blogsphere.

I wish you & your family nothing but the best and hope hope hope that you will come back to update us on your life, once or twice. And maybe to indulge us in a rollicking game of rootshootmarry.

Miss you already. But godspeed.

Blogger julia said...

I'm sorry to see you go even though I understand your reasons. Still. This sucks.

Blogger shellyC said...

Oh Good!! Maybe people will read my blog now!!

I am kidding!!! I really do have a heart and totally understand! I'll miss your posts, you and RSM!!

All the very best!

Blogger ewe are here said...

Bec -
You will be missed. But I absolutely understand your decision. Truth is, if I was trying to work right now, too, on top of my kIds and husband, I probably would never have started blogging either. The balance thing.

I'll cross that roadwhen I come to it down the line.

In the meantime, enjoy yourself. Hope you drop around once in a while. And do let everyone know if you decided to keep up your blog 'randomly' to stay in touch - because I'm sure everyone will want to.


Blogger Wes said...

Damn, now I know how people felt when I said I was stopping my family blog and people said they'd miss me. I didn't really get it!

I lurk on your blog, but don't comment that much. But I had to say to Is it just me or has anyone else noticed how few women who blog are also mothers of three in full-time paid employment in high stress jobs?, you may be alone on the female side, but I match you on the male side! And yep, it is really hard to get the whole balance thing happening.

Hopefully you'll come back some time soon.

Anonymous sueeeus said...

Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... woe...

I understand, though.



Ah, but it's been GREAT!! Thank you for all you've given the blogosphere.


Blogger Joke said...


I was hoping she changed her mind by now.


Anonymous josie said...

Your blog has been truly worth reading. Keep balancing, working, and thinking. Working mothers don't have it easy, and neither do stay at home mothers. It is important to be able to exercise choice, and to realise that you don't have to do everything immediately - there is a time for every purpose under heaven - and thus there is always later on. You can say, yes, I will do this, but not right now. Good luck with it all.

Anonymous Anonymous said...


I have a friend who needs special photos. If you have please tell me

regards and thx for your blog

Blogger Suse said...
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your work is great.then your blog has to be selected for will be able to get publicity n more visits to your blog through is growing everyday,so mark up n let the world see u. visit

Blogger Joke said...

I know you still check.


Blogger Jane Henry said...

Bec and others out there...

if you're still listening, I emailed you today about it anyway, but you are all most welcome to attend my online marathon party this week to celebrate the London Marathon and do some more shameless plugging of my book.

You are Much Missed.

love janexxxx

Anonymous Judi said...

Just checking in case you have returned...damn change...

Anonymous Janice said...

Great work done by you. I like to do reply on blog site and become a part of healthy is increasing day by day,so mark up n let the world know about your thoughts.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank god i will never have to go thru formal dress shopping again , our experience started when my daughter and i went to sassy boutique to buy a sherri hill dress , we tried it on in a larger size but they had told me sherri hill date to receive it will be later then her formal , so we thought we would try a place called dollhouse in top Ryde , they seemed pleasant she tried on the dress it was way to big for her but they said they can order the size for her by the formal , so we went ahead and placed a deposit mind you they were much cheaper then other places we had went to , anyway we were told the dress will take 3 weeks i went back after a week and asked how is the dress coming along , another girl had served us and told me the dress has finished , finished or arrived!!! so i was surprised anyway payed the balance and went home my daughter was so excited she tried it on and it closed but the bust area was so big so i went to the alteration place also in top Ryde and when i went there it was like he knew us , the guy told me " what’s wrong with it i just fixed it yesterday" , i said what!!! this is a new dress i just bought he hesitated and then quoted me a ridiculous price to fix it , so i went to another alteration place in Parramatter where she had told me this dress had already been altered and the bust area it is hard to fix , she fixed it as much as she can , but the bad thing about all this is i could not take dollhouse to consumer affairs because for me to get my discount , i accepted to buy it with no receipt and payed cash. So what we were told she altered the dress we had tried in the store and just made it smaller from the back zipper because the bust was fully beaded. I hope no one goes thru this i really urge you don't buy from there Doll house are cheaters

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