Monday, November 06, 2006
The $50,000 card game
First they took away Desperate Housewives.

Then they took away Grey's Anatomy.

So I cast my net wide.

I considered alternate pay tv plans.

THERE WAS STILL ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON MONDAY NIGHT.

NOT EVEN IF I UPGRADED US TO PLATINUM.

I mean, come on! Monday night is my night. Ever since the days of Buffy and Angel, there has ALWAYS been something on Monday night. Even if it meant staying up to ridiculous hours.

West Wing, Six Feet Under, Sopranos... something, anything.

But not tonight. nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Because tonight it is officially Non-Ratings Season.

Arsehole programming executives.

So. Tonight the Prof and I played euchre instead.

The kidlets were all fedded and bedded and we grown ups trundled our way through a dozen or so hands before, in the face of such peace and calm, I said, fatefully:

"You know, it would not be such a hard job to move the kitchen where the bathroom is and the bathroom where the kitchen is."

"Hmmm," said the Prof.

And trumped me again.

"And," I continued, "because they've left the granite in the kitchen cut straight, we could re-use the lot, and everything in the bathroom can come out over to here too."

"Uh-huh," said the Prof.

And trumped me again.

"I'm away," said I, in true euchre speak.

"That bathroom window would work well as a kitchen window, it lets in heaps of light," said the Prof.

"Mm-mmm, hearts are," said I.

The Prof got up and paced out the relative length of our new home's kitchen and bathroom, both of which are, indubitably, in the wrong location.

"Same size," says he.

"You know," said I, "We could get a big linen closet along here and have room for a second toilet."

"Yep," said he. "The plumbing's almost all in the right place already, too."

Well, you've read the title.

One thing lead to another and -

-

-

-

it's the most expensive game of euchre I've ever played.

Damn those arsehole programming executives.

mtc

bec


23 Comments:

Blogger Joke said...

[shudder]

I have TWO bathrooms and a kitchen to redo.

If you need me I'll be in the dark corner, in the fetal position with a blanket.

-J.

You should take a lump hammer in there too, Joke, and get a bit of that wall knocked down from behind the blanket...

Blogger My float said...

See? This is why programming executives have an obligation to keep us entertained and bug-eyed (and not with DIY programs)!

Can't wait to see the pics!

Anonymous sueeeus said...

Granite, and an agreeable husband? Priceless.

Blogger Carolyn said...

Yes, definitely post pics.

You don't like Heroes? (the TV show)

Blogger Em said...

Those tv execs have a lot to answer for ;) Good luck with the renovations!

BTW, I never thought you were glib :)

Carolyn - I suspect we're working with different programmers, you and I...

MF - you won't need pics, you'll be in here with a paintbrush...

Sueeeus - he is priceless, beyond rubies, but I wish he would be the practical one sometimes and stop me when I get the building bug...

Em - I am so glad.

Blogger Lazy cow said...

How very exciting, and daunting. Though I would do just about anything for another bathroom. I'm already having to tell the males in the house to 'water' the lemon tree when I'm in our ONE loo.

Blogger meggie said...

Bec, You lucky girl!
I would almost kill to have a man like the Prof!

Blogger Suse said...

Am almost too envious to comment.

Almost.

I live with four males and we have ONE bathroom, and ONE toilet.

And currently? Houseguests.

(We have five citrus trees, which do rather well).

Blogger Surfing Free said...

Wow, that's going to lead to some tough times ahead without a bathroom AND a kitchen for a few weeks!
But it's exciting! Love tinkering with the house in a knock-down rebuild sort of way ;)

Blogger Stomper Girl said...

An extra toilet would be a very good thing. You'll have to get it done immediately though, before the ratings season starts again.

Blogger Blue Moon Girl said...

I sort of forgot to pay attention after I saw that there is someone else who likes Gray's Anatomy!! YAY! Did you all just finish season two? We have already started season three and it will blow you away! :)

Okay, now back to the renovating. Wow! Good luck with that all! Have fun!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Buffy fan? Really?

Though I, personally, was a reluctant participant, Buffy Love reached quasi-religious proportions around here. When we got the dog, I promised Mym I would let her name him, and then spent the next 8 weeks manoevering her into calling him Angel, to avoid the inevitable name, Spike.

Hence the name of the dog; Angel, (though he also answers to the name, Big Stupid.

So, did you start the renovations there and then?

I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

Shula x

Blogger scribbit said...

Euchre? A card game? I'll have to google that one, maybe it's another Australian thing that I'm so clueless about that I'm feeling stupd. :)

Blogger velcro said...

nothing on tv here either and we have god knows how many channels. perhaps they're saving up all the worthy programs to show over the xmas period, we can only live in hope

Blogger Jane Henry said...

How long have you lived in your current house, Bec?

Clearly not long enough if you are talking about swapping rooms around.


As a veteran of a house which since we've lived here has:
been completely rewired (just prior to my eldest's birth, my that was fun), replumbed (luckily before her first winter), had a new bathroom put in when the two oldest were tiny, had an extension involving back of the house being knocked down and rebuilt plus new kitchen and second bathroom installed(youngest was five weeks old when this mayhem started...), a conservatory added, which has only just been decorated two years later, a room which I chose to redecorate alone while my husband was whitewater rafting (what started out simply ended up with floorboards being replaced, we lived with them under the kitchen table for weeks...)etc etc

All I can say Bec is DOOOOON'T DO IT!!!!!

I nearly decked the friend who came round recently and admired the new floorboards my husband had just laid in the lounge and then suggested we knock a hole in the chimney and restore the fireplace.

Not in my lifetime, pal...

I don't live in a house I live in a work in progress, and I tell you the novelty has really really worn off...

I expect it will be habitable by the time the kids leave home!

And if I were you I'd sue the tv networks for causing such a big dent in your income. They really ought to think about the public's financial security more.

by the way what is euchre?

love Janexxx

PS The first new bathroom now needs to be redone as it was done so badly first time around. But though it is damp, cold and the paint is peeling off the walls somehow I can't face it...

Blogger mad muthas said...

ironing is much cheaper. or maybe have sex instead ... no, wait - that can be expensive. i'm sure i'll think of something ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euchre

Apparently it's VERY popular in the United States and Canada, but the evidence in the combox here is further proof to me that Wikipedia is a massive lump of subjective cybershite.

And the joke of it all? We have been in this house four months; we bought it because it did not need any interior work done; and we moved from a house where we had only completed a new kitchen renovation four months beforehand.

At least our tenants are enjoying it.

Rest assured, no lump hammers will be taken to walls until we are good and ready.

But the seed has been planted and I have trouble being in the bathroom now without working out the best place for the dishwasher...

Blogger nutmeg said...

Large scale renovations sort of send a shiver down the old spine. Though having a kitchen out of action is always a good excuse for much eating out, takeaways etc. Though, don't forget to keep your fridge plugged in somewhere with all those tasty frozen meals of yours and that batch of stock from the other day :-)

Blogger shellyC said...

Tell me on any other night playing Euchre you would have been trumping your husband easily!!! The things we have to do for a Reno!!!

Blogger h&b said...

oooh, exciting !!

My re-do is too exxy, and plus we've got the $8k rewire to contend with first .. so i'll enjoy living through you. I love reno's, no matter if they are yours or mine, or someone else's ...

Nice trump though. You must have had a very good *ahem* .. hand ..

Blogger h&b said...

P.S. - just reading the comments - only 4 months in the house ??

We're almost twinsies - 5 months here. Thank God others embrace crazy like I do ... ;)

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